OK. Here we go. First time doing this and we are going to see how it works out. Let me get started by giving you a little info about myself. I am a 24 year old male that lives in Rockwall, TX. That's right, the island. If there are some of you who do not know what I am talking about, there is one way on and one way off of this place. A 4 mile bridge usually ends up turning into a 30 min ride down the realization that even though you left Mesquite, you are still here. As they say. "you can take the boy out of Mesquite, but you cant take Mesquite out of the boy." Dont ask me who says that exactly, I really dont fucking care. I recently ended a 4 year relationship with my now ex-fiance, so I suppose that it is a good time to start my life over. At least that is what I tell myself to keep from downing the last of the tylenol pm that I have. I really wish I wasnt such a pussy when it comes to stuff like that. She walks all over me and the only thing that I do is treat her like a queen. GROW SOME NUTS!!! Speaking of nuts, I am a recent survivor of ball cancer. Thanks the applause are greatly appreciated, but I should share one thing. I actually thought I had ball cancer, turns out it was just some bump on my ball, but its a better conversation starter to say I'm a survivor! Pictures of my sonogram are soon to come on here. And, you're welcome in advance. Now that I start writing I realize that I actually have alot of shit to talk about. Most of it is boring and you might give me bad feedback. Tough shit.
So let's get back on track. I live with my roommate which has been one of my best friends for a long ass time. He is 29 and goes through as much shit with women as any man I've ever seen. Most nights consist of us getting drunk and calling people in our phonebooks until someone gives in and brings us something to eat. Living in the same shitty, oops i mean city, are two of my friend that just got married in June. Congrats to them. Hey I was supposed to get married in May. Thanks for rubbing that in for me. They are both happy though, so I am happy for them. Roommates name is Pat, friends are Jason and Lindsay. Forgot to throw that in there. Last one that escaped Mesquite is Wayne. He is currently in his 6th year(maybe 7th) of college. Hell he has more patience than me. I went for 2 and got bored and lucked out with a bad ass job. More power to him. He currently lives in Denton and commutes down here most weekends to get drunk. Cant blame him. There are some more people that I will introduce you to when the time comes. For now that is all you need.
Let's talk about something interesting. RELATIONSHIPS.
I put that in caps because it is a big fucking deal. I have said there are 2 things that shouldn't be hard in life. Golf and relationships. Truth is they are hard as hell and I suck at both of them. What I think ruins it for guys is Billy Crystal and Tom Hanks. Yeah I said it. Scrutinize me if you will. When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle. Don't get me wrong, I've watched them all a few times, you have too. Not bad movies actually, but they are what I like to call (get ready to write this down, I'll use it alot) THUNDER STEALERS. Those movies steal any hope that you might have in making the love of your life happy. How many times have you heard, "Why can't you do that?" or "That's so sweet." Right there you are at a disadvantage. When she is laying beside you at night after the movie, she is thinking about how sweet those guys are and how all you want to do is face fuck her. True as that is, we both have to realize that we have to compromise in this relationship thing. Take her out to dinner, hold her at night, watch when harry met sally for fuck's sake. Ladies, you dont get off this easy. It's not all about you. Let us face fuck you here and there, make the first move, do something that makes us feel special. Listen, I didn't mean for this to get emotional and shit, kinda just went there. Ok, we will continue this later. Wayne just got here and we are going to get drunk. Imagine that.