Saturday, September 03, 2005

Ouch. Let's talk about alcohol since it is freshly on my mind. Last night we went out and had a pretty good time. Got to the bar we really wanted to go to about 45 mins away and then realized that Ted had left his wallet at my house. I'm not a fighting person, but I could have punched that mofo in his face. Not like it was cheap to get out there($3.09/gallon). Really I shouldn't bitch. I've found myself over the past few days not bitching as much about stuff that really doesn't matter. I ran into a couple of people from New Orleans over the past week or so and have gained alot of insight. I guess it took me actually meeting someone who lost their house, or who haven't heard from a relative down there in weeks for me to realize that those pictures on tv are real. It seems almost like it's not real, but it is. I am going to get off the hurricane subject for now, but keep in mind those people lost everything they had. Quit putting it off like I have been doing and give something. I don't mean to sound like Jerry Lewis, but every dollar counts.

Actually I'm not done with the hurricane stuff. What the fuck are those people thinking that are walking out of WalMart with tv's and shit. Maybe they can plug it in when they get home and....oh yeah their fucking house isn't there. Oh, then maybe they should just come out and start shooting at the rescue helicopters and the police. Good idea. I really am not a mean person, but those people have what's coming to them. Burn in hell looters, burn in hell indeed.

Ok, back to last night. First I'll introduce you to the supporting cast. Ted, Kenny, and Wayne. Between the four of us, we have known each other since at least junior high. Ted is married to a great girl named Jennifer. For some reason though, he has not really got out of the partying phase in his life. Let me tell you from experience, it hurts the relationship if you go get drunk with the boys all the time. (see my past relationship) :( Kenny is a lifetime student. Has a girlfriend that is crazy about him and possibly a little crazy all together. We traveled back to the old stomping grounds in Mesquite last night to enjoy seeing all the people we tried to get away from by moving away. Too many shots, too much beer, and somehow we all kinda got fucked on our tab. On 3 tabs, $130? Maybe. Shit I drink too much. That was capped off with a trip to the local IHOP at about 3 am. KEEP THIS IN MIND!!!!! As good as the big country breakfast is, it is not a good idea after you have been drinking all night. No excuses. Don't do it. It's kinda like fucking a fat chick, might sound like a good idea after getting drunk, but have some restraint. You will regret it in the morning. I did. Waking up to the sound of your stomach rejecting $130 worth of alcohol and a $9 breakfast is not a good thing. Not too much detail, I'll just say I hurt.

I texted my ex last night. Don't sound so dissapointed. I kinda regret doing it, kinda not. Alcohol does weird things to you. I told her that I was thinking of her and I missed her and I loved her. All true, but I really need to stop doing this to myself. This is where I need your help. I know what most of you will say, but tell me something that helped you out in the past, give me some advice on what I should do. After 3 amazing years together and one year that I fucked up, I got the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" thing. That hurts. I've been everything she wanted me to ever be lately to show her that I really love her and I'm willing to do anything for her and I'm sorry for fucking stuff up. She says there is too much resentment towards me to get back together. I said it's better if we don't talk anymore. help.

Until then, I will continue wasting away the hours and the days with alcohol by my side and a good porn on the computer. Imagine that.


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