"How is work?"
I never thought you guys would ask that. Shithole. More shit dumped on me everyday, but it looks good on paper. eat me. Well one sentence is enough bitching for one day I guess. Had a rather painful weekend. I honestly can say that its been a long time since I drank that much whiskey. I 1 1/2 hours me and Wayne somehow rang up almost 100 bucks worth of jack and cokes. Ouch. The capper to the thing is the Whataburger. I couldnt eat that much food sober to save my life. My blog really sucks. Im either bitching about my job, telling you about how much I drank, or letting emotions out about my ex. Oh just wait until I finish the movie........then we will have something to talk about........its kinda shitty too now that I think about it. Well, I have a meeting early in the morning with my new team. We will see how my former co-workers like me as their boss. I think that there will be some heartburn on their end. Luckily I can swear at them now to get shit done. Oh the beauty of frustration release. If I make it through tomorrow, Ill update you on the situation.

Restless in Rockwall
B

Mother fucker. I really wanted that new account, but I didnt get it. Fucking figures. They said they have high expectations for my group now and want me to be the leader to take them there. That sounds good and all, but fucking a, Im at a dead stand still. I swear to christ that I will be in this position until the day I die. I did get alot done today. Went to some stores out in the middle of nowhere. Fun. All that driving gives me time to think about shit I probably wouldnt think about otherwise. Like.......
How do you throw away a trash can? I have one now that the wheels are broken off of and I want to get rid of it, but Ill be damned, how do I throw it away. Do I have to leave instructions, put it inside of another trash can, take it to a dump, sell it in a garage sale? Im fucking lost. Or......
Is it a sin to burn an illegal copy of "The Passion of the Christ"? Or.......
If you didnt have a middle finger, how could you wipe your ass? Or.........
Did they have a shitload of kids back in the old days because they got bored from not having electricity? Did they just sit around and say,
"So you wanna fuck or what?"
"Yeah I guess, Im kinda bored." Or.......
Was Louie the Lightening Bug a light bulb or and actual lightening bug? If he was a bug, where does he come off telling me about electricity. His peeps get offed by the bug zapper all the time. Or......
Since Spuds MacKenzie was a female dog, was Budweiser promoting gay beastiality? Think about how far ahead of their time they were.
Does anyone else see why I want to stab myself most days? I do. There are alot more than these things I think about. These are just a few of the many things that needlessly go through my mind. Well I guess its about time to drink some Jack and start wildly swinging a dull knife around. Ill make contact if Im lucky.

B on 3

I remember alot about the past
Both the good things and the bad
The things that won and broke your heart
Before things got so bad

Staying out all night long
Not knowing where I'd be
Getting drunk 6 days a week
A good husband I wouldnt be

I did alot to mess things up
We never talked at all
Strange how I just find out
Big problems start out small

We had fun together for 3 whole years
I wouldnt trade a day
The beach, the strip, or even home
All we did was play and play

All those days are long gone now
We have both gone separate ways
Its lonely here without you
Long nights stem from longer days

I cant turn back the hands of time
If I could I'd fix it all
I say Im sorry a million times
But I already dropped the ball

I dont know what the future holds
Where we will be in a year
You or me with someone else
Thats not what I want to hear

We could both survive apart
Or even with someone new
I know now how to make it work
I just want it to work with you

The feelings from you are not there now
I know you still think of me
I just cant do anything about it
How could all this be

I really want to give you time
I think youll come around
Im really not that bad of a guy
For a while I just let you down

Im giving you some time away
Only time can heal the wounds
Just know you are still in my heart
And our love again can bloom

I dont know why writing stuff like that gets my feelings out. I read her blog everyday and I really hope she is thinking about stuff and not just moving on. I dont know if she is seeing someone new, I doubt it. I dont know if by "things are getting clearer" she means better with or without me. Im confused. I shouldnt think about this stuff so much. I havent heard her voice in a few weeks and it sucks. We text here and there although I said I wouldnt. I just cant completely let go and that could either end up good for me or biting me in the ass. I really dont know whether to go ahead and think of her completely as my ex and move on to single life again or whether I should wait for her. For now, I wait because it feels like I would be cheating even though we are apart. She is moving in with her mom at the end of the month and I guess we will see if she starts thinking about stuff more after that. Until then I sit here thinking, remembering, wondering, knowing what could have been and now feeling what it is.

b

I did not realize that I hadnt put anything on here since last tuesday. I have been on vacation all week and never got around to putting anything on here. Well, thats me I guess. So my week of vacation was spent gambling and drinking the rest of my shitty life away. Staying up until 7am playing poker really throws off your sleep schedule. Especially if you have been drinking since 1pm the day before. Talk about fucked up. Ouch. Needless to say, Saturday was spent laying around catching up with sleep and watching some football. So UT finally pulled it off. About time. Watching the game I realized something. UT is pretty damn good and OU is pretty shitty. I mean stop me if you disagree, but this could be the worst OU team I have ever seen. No solid QB or WR, Peterson is injured and somehow they still forced him to run for 2 or 3 yards here and there. Oh well. Everyone that knows me knows that I am an A&M fan, but you UT fans have something to look forward to this year with the team that you have. I really dont know who is in your way for the rest of the season. Maybe Tech could pull something off, hell Baylor is looking strong this year.
Well, Im supposed to play golf today, but the weather has to hold up for me to. Last day of freedom before going back to work tomorrow. I think I might hear something about the new account tomorrow. Hopefully at least. I am so beat down from my job. I just need a change. To be perfectly honest, I dont know if the new account is the change I need. I might be looking for something outside the company, I dont know. If I do get shifted around, I will start with that. Anyone that reads this that lives around the DFW area needs to make a trip to IKEA. That place is fucking huge! It actually has alot of practical stuff and for a reasonable price. If you would like something to make you smile, go to the returns that are for sale by the registers. If you ever doubt your ability to make something, that will make you feel so much better about yourself. These people have really screwed some stuff up. Leaning tables, crooked shelves, gaps between doors big enough to stick your arm through, its funny. Anyways, guess Ill close for now. Talk to you guys later on.

B

My fellow poons....
Not a whole lot to say for a tuesday. Im on vacation this week doing nothing except sitting around playing the monopoly game at mcdonalds making me fatter and closer to a heart attack by the day. Eventful weekend, kinda. Friday night Wayne and myself went to arlington to a party thrown by our friends Kenny and Ted. Dont remember a whole lot of it, got pretty wasted. I do remember, however, the ride home. My car was at bone daddy's in plano, so it should have been about a hour drive if that from arlington. We left the club at 2 and somehow ended up in the middle of a residential neighborhood. No clue where we were. Every time we thought we saw a street that looked familiar, it took us somewhere we never saw before. After god knows what, we finally got to my car at 4am. Yeah, thats a 2 hour drive. Saturday was blessed with a hangover as I had figured. Pretty much stayed inside all day and watched football. Did that Saturday and Sunday now that I think about it. Monday was a craphole day with nothing going on except realizing how much of a redneck I am by watching wrestling followed by a wrestling documentary. Well, a week and a half has gone by since we ended stuff. I dont know if the days are getting easier or not. I have some days that I am ok, then the next day I am a wreck. I talked to my ex last night about nothing important, just talked. It was nice. Although I havent heard her voice in a week, the text messages were enough to tide me over...at least for a while. Laid in bed last night until about 230, tossing and turning. Not even the golf channel put me to sleep. Watched a pretty good movie last night about 1, I recommend seeing Busty Cops if you get a chance. Yeah, its what you think it is. Dont blame me, there was nothing else on. I think tonight I will watch Lonesome Dove. At least I can say I accomplished something. If I start now, it should be done about 2 am. yippie.
B
p.s. started writing the movie a little more today.